Two ply or three? Double length or triple? Patterned or embossed? Recycled or bamboo? Since when did toilet paper become so complicated?
If you choose toilet paper that's rough, tears at the worst moment, or clogs up your pipes, you're basically flushing money down the toilet.
Stats show that each Aussie rolls through about 10kg of toilet paper per year, so this is a purchase you want to get right.
To help you get the best dunny roll for your dollar, here's a handy round-up of the best and worst performers in our latest toilet paper review.
How we test to find the best
Our experts selected 30 of the most popular brands and tested them to see which is the tip-top TP.
They score each product on four key areas:
- Softness (Is it gentle?)
- Separation (Does it tear off easily?)
- Strength (Will it rip when you wipe?)
- Sewer-friendliness (Will it clog your bog?)
We use these scores to give each product an overall score. We call it a CHOICE Expert Rating.
For a loo roll to be recommended by our experts, it needs a CHOICE Expert Rating of at least 70%, plus scores of 65% and higher on all four tests.
To misquote Meatloaf, three out of four ain't bad – but when it comes to toilet paper, you really want an all-rounder.
Compromising on even one of these elements can land you in a sticky situation, but if you choose a toilet paper recommended by our experts, it'll deliver on all fronts (and backsides).
The top for your tush: The recommended rolls from the CHOICE toilet paper review.
On a roll: The best toilet paper
Here are the products that our experts recommend as being best for your bottom:
Sorbent 4 ply Thick and Soft
- CHOICE Expert Rating: 82% (Recommended)
- Softness score: 90%
- Price: 59c per 100 sheets
Quilton Toilet Tissue 3 Ply Softness White
- CHOICE Expert Rating: 76% (Recommended)
- Softness score: 80%
- Price: 60c per 100 sheets
Kleenex Luxury Quilts Air Cushion Softness
- CHOICE Expert Rating: 74% (Recommended)
- Softness score: 70%
- Price: 57c per 100 sheets
Quilton Toilet Tissue with Coconut Oil
- CHOICE Expert Rating: 74% (Recommended)
- Softness score: 80%
- Price: 54c per 100 sheets
Best budget buys
When every dollar matters, it's hard to justify spending extra on something that literally ends up going down the gurgler.
The top-scoring TPs in our test are also at the top end of the price range, costing between 54 and 60 cents per 100 sheets, which can really add up when you're literally buying kilos of the stuff every year.
But if you're on a budget, do you have to settle for bog-standard bog roll? Not necessarily.
Look out for our Best Buy products: they offer great value for money but don't quite meet the criteria to be recommended.
They all scored well across most tests, but fell short in others. Many didn't fare well in our puncture test – which measures how likely your finger is to burst through the paper mid-wipe. That's a real bummer.
If you don't mind rolling the dice on the dunny, though, they're great toilet papers in other respects.
At a budget-friendly 18 to 30 cents per 100 sheets, they're a good buy on face value, but not so much on the, er, other end.
Soft on bottoms and on budgets: Coles So Soft & Strong 3 ply.
Saving money on essentials feels good, but you just can't put a price on knowing that your toilet paper isn't going to give way mid-wipe.
If your priority is softness, Vevelle White Toilet Tissue 2 ply and Coles So Soft & Strong 3 ply Embossed White scored the highest for softness at 80%, but the Vevelle scored a nerve-wracking 53% on the puncture test.
Delsey Toilet Tissue 1000 sheets may be the cheapest (along with the Vevelle White Toilet Tissue 1 ply), but they're also the scratchiest and they're pretty prone to punctures, scoring just 55%.
And two supermarket brands – Black & Gold Toilet Tissue 2 Ply and Coles Simply 2 Ply Embossed White Toilet Tissue – are also great buys that received solid scores. They cost 29c and 19 cents per 100 sheets respectively.
(Bear in mind that toilet paper prices can change frequently; these prices were correct at the time of testing.)
Gentle on the planet and on your behind: Quilton with Ecoply.
Softest eco-friendly toilet paper
Recycled, eco-friendly toilet paper doesn't traditionally have a great reputation for softness or quality.
"Toilet paper that's kind to the planet may not always be kind to your behind," says CHOICE expert Chris Barnes.
There are a couple of products that will scratch your itch for enviro-friendliness, but not your bum: Quilton Toilet Tissue with Ecoply 3 Ply and No Issues 100% Bamboo Toilet Paper both scored 80% for softness.
However, the No Issues TP and another 'eco' product (iCare Luxury Eco Toilet Tissue) didn't break down quickly enough in our disintegration test, so they'll give you a clear conscience but maybe also blocked pipes.
(Poor disintegration isn't exclusive to eco toilet papers – even a regular Kleenex TP failed to break down and scored 0% on this test.)
Naturale 100% Recycled 3 Ply Softness hits the sweet spot between softness and sewer-friendliness: it scores 70% for softness and 49% for disintegration. Plus it's more affordable at 30 cents per 100 sheets.
These TPs really hit the skids in our toilet paper testing.
A pain in the bum: The worst toilet paper
iCare Luxury Eco Toilet Tissue 3 Ply
- CHOICE Expert Rating: 48%
- Disintegration score: 0%
- Price: 56 cents per 100 sheets
No Issues 100% Bamboo Toilet Paper
- CHOICE Expert Rating: 49%
- Disintegration score: 0%
- Price: 42 cents per 100 sheets
Kleenex Toilet Tissue Complete Clean with CleanRipple
- CHOICE Expert Rating: 51%
- Disintegration score: 0%
- Price: 31 cents per 100 sheets
Don't take the plunge on these bog-clogging toilet papers.
If you have a sensitive sewage system at home, you'll want to give these three a miss. They're all quite soft (scoring between 70 and 80%), but all of them scored 0% on our disintegration test.
That means they take far longer to break up after flushing than most other toilet papers.
How to save money on toilet paper
With the current cost of living, every little saving counts. And since toilet paper is a staple that you'll use every single day, it makes sense to get the best deal possible so you're not just flushing money down the toilet.
Toilet paper prices change frequently. And between sale prices, double-length rolls and bulk packs, it can be tricky to know whether you're getting the best price. The best way to tell is to check the unit price so you can compare how much you're paying per 100 sheets.
If you have the storage space, buying in bulk is usually (but not always) cheaper, so check those unit prices before you settle on a pack that's cheaper overall.
The age-old question: Over or under?
Seth Wheeler took toilet roll very seriously.
We have a conclusive answer to the controversial question of whether to hang your toilet paper over or under the roll. At risk of permanently losing members, we're here to answer it once and for all: over is the correct method.
Perforated toilet paper was invented in 1871 by US inventor Seth Wheeler. He subsequently re-patented his invention in roll form in 1891.
His patent application includes detailed diagrams that clearly show the paper going up and over the roll, not under.
So placing your toilet paper overhand is using this wonder product precisely as its creator intended.
Don't agree? Join the conversation in our CHOICE Community and tell us why.
We're on your side
For more than 60 years, we've been making a difference for Australian consumers. In that time, we've never taken ads or sponsorship.
Instead we're funded by members who value expert reviews and independent product testing.
With no self-interest behind our advice, you don't just buy smarter, you get the answers that you need.
You know without hesitation what's safe for you and your family.
And you'll never be alone when something goes wrong or a business treats you unfairly.
Learn more about CHOICE membership today
Stock images: Getty, unless otherwise stated.
